Creating meaningful connections across generations

The first time Brian met Australian Red Cross volunteer visitor Yuly, he wasn’t sure what to expect. “I was amazed, really – why would a young girl like her want to talk to an old fella like me?” he says. “But we just hit it off straight away. She turned up, and we just chatted.”

Six months earlier, Brian and his wife Judy had moved into an aged care home on the outskirts of Mount Gambier, South Australia, where they’d lived for many years, both teaching in schools around the area. Judy had lost most of her hearing and was diagnosed with dementia and needed full-time care. “I came to keep Judy company, because she has dementia,” explains Brian, who, at 94, has a sharp memory and keen sense of humour. “And as the circumstances worked out, I've been here ever since.”

While Brian and Judy share a bedroom, they spend most of the day apart – as her dementia has progressed, t’s become increasingly difficult for Judy to communicate.

“Occasionally she can talk a little bit to me. She spends most of her time out of the room, but we go to sleep together, and I always sit by her for a while, just holding onto her hand. She likes that when we go to bed,” says Brian of Judy, to whom he’s been married for 66 years.

After being introduced to Yuly, not only did Brian find someone he could spend time with, but Judy did, too. Through the Australian Red Cross Aged Care Visiting Scheme the Coopers were paired with Yuly and her partner Willy. The scheme matches the elderly with volunteer visitors in their area who share similar interests, helping older people to feel less lonely while fostering companionships and connections that stretch across generations, cultures and life experiences.

Both Yuly and Willy are from Colombia; after living in Melbourne for four years, they moved to the peaceful community of Mount Gambier in 2023.

“Since I was in Colombia, I had been wanting to do something for a good cause,” says Yuly. “When we came here to Mount Gambier, one of our friends posted in a group chat about being an Australian Red Cross volunteer.”

When they visit the Coopers, Willy spends time with Judy while Yuly visits with Brian. “Judy is a really lovely person. She was a music teacher, and she played many instruments, like violin and piano,” shares Willy. “When I started to visit her, my supervisor told me she has dementia, and to be aware of that… Over the months, she got a little bit worse, and she lost her hearing as well… So [now], every visit is like the first visit because she never remembers me when I visit her.”

Yet Willy was determined to find a way to connect with Judy and make her smile. “I saw a video on TikTok for deaf people, and I thought, ‘this could be interesting’, because it’s something I could show Judy,” he says. “And then on my next visit I was like, ‘Judy, I’ve got this video’, and I put it on TikTok, and her eyes were bright, and she said ‘ohhh!’. You could see this emotion watching the video. She enjoys it and smiles sometimes.”

Meanwhile, it’s the quality conversation and company that Brian enjoys most about his visits with Yuly. “You’ve got no idea how much I enjoy talking to people,” says Brian with a smile. “I made my living by talking,” he adds with a chuckle, referring to his days as a maths teacher and school principal. “And I miss it. Yuly and I, we talk about all sorts of things – things that have happened in our life, or things that are happening in the wide world. And I don’t really have anyone else to talk to like that.”

“With Brian, I talk, but he talks more,” says Yuly, “So that’s the idea – he wanted to have someone to talk with. And it’s really nice, when I finish a visit, he says ‘it’s always so nice to have someone to talk with’. He’s always waiting for someone to come and talk to him.”

While Willy and Yuly, who met at high school in Colombia in 2008, give the Coopers friendly faces to look forward to each week, the young couple also gain a sense of purpose, belonging and community from visiting with Brian and Judy, who they now consider part of their Australian family.

“It’s important for us to connect with and visit older people, because sometimes they feel lonely and they feel like, in my opinion, people don't care about them,” reflects Willy. “And the reality is, they're important people in our lives. They give so much. They were our teachers, and the people who have a lot of wisdom. And it's important to let them know that they matter, and we can take care of them.”

“Willy and Yuly have taught me that young people really do care about older people,” shares Brian. “I'm glad Red Cross has an organisation such as this, which brings a bit of life and happiness to old people… I’m 94, and just to sit down with the good lady here, with Yuly, it's just wonderful.

“I love it,” he adds with a smile. “They can come every day if they want.”